Tony - Life after 25 can be summed up as: purgatorial decline. We flap and we falter. We limp into oblivion, paying dearly for our sins, already bemoaned, already half-ghosts. And as the gloom of our twilight nips our heels and we see how wrong we were, and how sad, we realize that there is only one thing to do. Yes, you guessed it. Euthenasia. But, by Jove, no matter how much we chop and schnarff the beleaguered ol' ticker just keeps on beating. Whither now? And how? Brown? Cow?

Pol - There are three types of refugees in this world, in descending order of, er, educatedness: flying, floating and crawling. Britain is a small island with a well-protected coastline. It stands to reason, therefore, that you don't get the floaters or the crawlers over there. BTW - did you know that the American government endows instantaneous citizenship on any Puerto Ricans who set foot on American soil? They float there in droves. But, in what must be one of the most remarkable twists of bureaucratic logic in the world, the Florida Coast Guard does its damnedest to prevent them from achieving this. Astounding.