p.s. 206 isn�t closing down.

"Every time you try to get out - they pull you back in..." - Don Corleone

Fitting really. This story, in the first version I heard it, happened in a
> College of Surgeons of Ireland (RCSI) game, junior level, run around
> rugby.
> Story goes like this, in the course of the game a guy is unfortunate
> enough to dislocate his leg. He is screaming in agony. The pitch is full
> of trainee medics and they realise this fairly fast. They call an
> ambulance but also realise the quickest way to put the guy out of his
> agony is to push the femur back into the hip joint. They go ahead and do
> this.
>
> Unfortunately the screaming intensifies as a result, the poor guy has gone
> from occasional moans of agony to squealing like a pig getting
> slaughtered. Within a few minutes he has passed out from the pain.
> The reason? When they pushed his femur back into his hip socket, they
> managed to catch & snag one of his testicles along the way and ram it into
> the ball of the hip joint ahead of the femur they were trying to
> re-locate. When the bone snapped back into place the testicle was squashed
> immediately because of the strength of the ligament and tendons attaching
> the leg to the pelvic girdle. The guy lost his testicle and ruptured his
> vocal cords screaming in agony.
>

Two questions: yesterday I get a message from Tony ranting about cabin fever and polar expeditions. Does anybody know where They're keeping him? And where the fuck is Rael Blieden?

Reported in the Birmingham Sunday Mercury (7th Jan 2001): WORKER
>> DEAD AT DESK FOR 5 DAYS
>>
>> Bosses of a publishing firm are trying to work out why no one
>> noticed that one of their employees had been sitting dead at his
>> desk for FIVE DAYS before anyone asked if he was feeling
>> okay. George Turklebaum, 51, who had been employed as a proof-reader
>> at a New York firm for 30 years, had a heart
>> attack in the open-plan office he shared with 23 other workers.
>>
>> He quietly passed away on Monday, but nobody noticed until Saturday
>> morning when an office cleaner asked why he was still
>> working during the weekend. His boss Elliot Wachiaski said: "George
>> was always the first guy in each morning and the last to
>> leave at night, so no one found it unusual that he was in the same
>> position all that time and didn't say anything.
>>
>> "He was always absorbed in his work and kept much to himself." A
>> post mortem examination revealed that he had been dead
>> for five days after suffering a coronary.Ironically, George was
>> proofreading manuscripts of medical textbooks when he died.

"Military links"? When They come knocking on your door with a mugshot of Petra, now we'll know why. They'll have to beat it out of us, bru!

Hey all. Just had a mid-week public holiday in SA. The problem with having two Fridays in one week is two Mondays. Tony: shot for the link. 'S perfect. More, more... Check out http://facs.scripps.edu/surf/gblpac.html Select a region in the world, then click on the time log at the bottom of the screen, scroll all the way to the bottom of that and select 'animation'. Pretty cool, even if you don't surf. Kinda like a global sattelite pic.

Brad, my esteemed pal, if 206 actually does close, it will re-open, to as much hype.
Will someone please wrap these lines!

Tony & Psigh & Ray: saw Tracey Rose yesterday. Sends her regards. Just finished a year's internship at the Nat. Gallery. Just my fookin' luck. She's been here for a whole year and I only get her phone number two weeks before she goes back to JHB!!!! Babe status: verified. Will report back on any not-so-latent psychotic tendencies soon.

Don't worry, Milly. 206 closes down (for good) at least twice a year. And it's a tactic which, judging by your reaction, works quite nicely. I searched 15 March for hot spading tips, but there was nothing there. Perhaps you could look into your own heart for some advice. Do I have to get down on my knees? Or should you? Don't underestimate the evil forces of flat 302. I'm in Mouille Point, Cape Town, working for a magazine-cum-TV-show. But what I really want to do with my life is play pinball.

My God, Dan. Or should I say, "Jesus!" Only try that at home...

How are you, Milly? Where are you? And why?

Harvesting dance?

Who decided it would be appropriate to add the prefix Evil to are friendly site?

Tony: what's your non-hotmail address again? I want to send you an mpg. Perhaps you could put it on the site, or link it or something. And what's the link to that news page of yours? Any other cool links? All I got is time...

Good morning, troupe. Well... what a weekend. Drank for 13 hours on Saturday. Do you know what that does to the roof of your mouth? Trust me, you don't want to. I am a putrid wretch and I feel sorry for the women on the receiving end of my warped attentions, my lascivious intentions, my barley breath at 5am on Saturday night. They have Theatre of Magic at The Shack. Enough reason to come visit, y'all! Ray, we're expecting you, soon, niggah. Heppy bearfday, Bread, you old goat. How were the mountains Psigh, mon? Yodeleheeee...

HELLO ALL, I HAVE KIDNAPPED SEAN'S COMPUTER AND DECIDED TO TAKE THE GAY O METER AND SO I FELT OBLIGED TO LET YOU ALL KNOW THAT I SCORED 48% SO THERE WE HAVE IT ANOTHER CLUELESS INDIVIDUAL WAFTS THROUGH THE PLANET.
LOTS OF LOVE AND HAPPY SNOW DAYS AHEAD
SU-YEN

Brad and Amos are busted for buying weed. They go to court and the judge is so taken with the sheepish duo that he decides to suspend incarceration on the condition that they go out and help other lost souls get off drugs. A week later they report back.
"Amos," growls Judge Labuschagne, "how many converts?"
"37," beams the laddish upstart.
"That's great! A record," says the judge. "How did you do it?"
"Well, I drew two circles on a piece of paper, like this: 0 o. Then I said: 'This is your brain before you take drugs. This is your brain after.'"
"Good. You can go home now. Mr. Shewitz, how many people did you save?"
Brad: "162."
"Wha-? B-but how did you do it, boy!?"
"Well," says Braddles, "I drew two circles on a piece of paper, like this: o 0. Then I said: 'This is your asshole before you go to prison...'"

For those of you interested in learning Chinese.

It�s very dark in here.
Wai So Dim?

Is there a fugitive here?
Hu Ya Hai Ding?

Your price is too high!
No Bai Nut Ding!

I bumped into the coffee table.
Ai Bang Mai Ni.

Has your flight been delayed?
Hao Long Wei Ting?

Your body odor is offensive.
Yu Stin Ki Pu.

Phew! Does this bathroom stink!
Hu Flung Dung?

Stay out of sight.
Lei Lo.

P.s
Tony: I will have no problem getting time off work.
Simon: Eli Chaitowitz seems to have good intentions.
Dani & Brad: Goodbye, Thanx and I�ll see you late Saturday night.

don't talk to me about catwomen - they smile and purr then shove their arses in your face and strut away.

(Psi & Tony) - you'd better hope you were right about that phone bill <cheeky grin>

and with tequila the art is to drink it pure, and drink nowt else but water all night and then the next day is sweet (oh and high-quality gold helps as well).

the smallest sovereign territory in the world? (check the person walking on the top for scale):



it's called sealand, and apparently it is actually recognised as a state by uk, holland and germany at least
(www.sealandgov.com).

Two hours sleep, headache, nose blocked, tunnel vision, throat clicking. At work. All these healthy, enrgetic people. Breathing is a headrush. O for a dark, silent place.

For the record: it's an extra 5% penis size, an extra 4% sensitivity and about 1% uncanny intuition (that Braddles is thinking of me, always).

So the primitive male psyche lives on in certain parts of the world ... I can see there will be work for me to do when I get to Cape Town. It's the 21st century now SA boys...

(Psi: Su-yen sent me public transport instructions, so expect me to randomly arrive some point on Thursday evening)

Do you think its just a coincidence that 'Brad' rhymes with 'shag'? Is it just me? The creatine? All 22% of my heretofore dormant womanhood is howling for release!!!!

Hey Blog Mob. Has anyone seen Requiem For A Dream (Dir. Darren Aronofsky)? Possibly one of the top three movies of all time, up there with Blade Runner and Man Bites Dog. Hints of Kubrick and Lynch. I'll be in JHB at the end of April. Change your locks.

Garth: Aloha! Are you in Amsterdam yet? Regards to Mina.
Tony: The frog is of the rare Fijian Clitoris Cunnilingus Amphibius variety. They were endangered by a terminal strain of fatigue during the primordial matriarchal era of the human race.
Psigh: That's 88% DESPITE my lucky underwear!
Dan: Hoesssiiiit, bru! GRRRRR!!! Messianic tendencies still going strong, I see. The Dude would approve. Have you bought Everlast's second album yet?
Braddles: You beefcake. Been growing those pecs for me to oggle? You tease, you bitch, you slut.
Humus: Don't worry. You've always been all woman in my doting eyes...
Dani: Forget these floundering androgyns. How about a date with a REAL man?
Sean: Will you be staying with Psi and them? Don't believe anything Tony tells you about the size of his penis. I've seen it, fully erect. Not worth the saliva.

Psi: I'll bring those things then - and in answer to your question: "no". Okay, well I have skied before but it was a while ago...

More online test nonsense at http://www.thespark.com/iqtest...

Brad: 'appy burtday for sunday, and still no definite date for the big move but probably may... (waiting for my passport)

This guy walks into the bar and sees a gorgeous blonde sitting on a bar stool all alone. So the guy sits down next to her and pulls a small box from his pocket. He opens it and there's a frog inside. The blonde says, "He's cute, but does he do tricks?" The guy says, "Yea, he licks pussy." So after talking with her for several minutes, he convinces her to come with him to his apartment. They get there and she takes all of her clothes off, gets into the bed and spreads her legs. The guy sets the frog right between her legs and it just sits there not moving at all. the blond says, "Well? what's up?" The frog still does not move. So the guy leans over to the frog and says, "All right, I'm only going to show you how to do this one more time!"

the key to success is balance (and that's all I'll say on the test results)

still not sure when I'm in SA (waiting on a passport ...) but should be sometime in may

Psi, do I need any ski gear (because I don't have any)? What would you recommend?

Wait for it... a whopping 22%. That's 88% ALL testosterone for the Camel man! For some pointers about how to score more macho results on your next exam, send money to PO Box 890655, Cape Town, SA. Remember: what you give is what you get. In the meantime, drink more beer.

Hey guys,

I'm arriving Geneva next thursday @ 18:35...see you then

(BTW I'm 41% gay and try this one http://www.thespark.com/gendertest - bills itself as 100% accurate, take it and I'll tell you what it said about me!)